SD 794–812: It’s my birthday! I just returned home (two days ago) from a week working in Milwaukee and St. Paul and seeing family! I really could’ve/should’ve done that sooner! Exclamation points!

Dane bought me an Alienware computer for my birthday! It has not radically improved my life or motivated me to do anything new! I am currently idling in ActiveWorlds with 45 other clients. Dog catching its own tail, etc.

It was cool today. Now I am hot. My watch told me I had low cardio health and then I kind of felt like passing out for a few hours. My throat has been scratchy. My stomach is upset. My back hurts. I am sure this is nothing. (I’ll take a test tomorrow. To see which Real Housewife I am.)

I really do lose track of what I’ve been doing with myself when I only write once a month. Travelled like I said. Still haven’t been feeling any video games really. I sign into FFXIV and then immediately sign out. I have played a little bit of Stardew Valley for the first time in ages. The daily loop stresses me out more than it should. I’ve been feeling like I want to get back into Minecraft but after I open it I just feel overwhelmed and leave. All that really can hold my attention these days is reading and television. Stuck in some sort of rut where active entertainment is too much work. I do not know what to make of it.

Work has been getting a little bit better, a little less frustrating. Part of that is me acknowledging I have to put in effort to fix my frustrations otherwise it is meaningless. We have had some big launches after months of just working on projects, so that always feels good. We might be going into a lull for summer, but I still see a lot of projects on the horizon so I do not think it will be that quiet.

Went back to my previous entry to see if I wrote about seeing movies again and I did. I also called The Northman The Norseman. Same diff. While back in St. Paul staying at my sister’s it was also my niece’s birthday. They rented out a theater so we could watch Howl’s Moving Castle on the big screen with a bunch of her friends. It was great seeing it on the big screen after only watching it once or twice before as I feel like I absorbed a lot of new details.

Being in Milwaukee by myself for two days was fun, but I ended up working more than expected so did not actually see much of the city. I also forgot how awkward/frustrating dining by yourself can be. The hotel I stayed at was nice / in a cool historic building, but the restaurant situation was not great. Also no pool. Sad face. Might go back again. Probably should have stayed again this week since I am actually off from work. Staycation. Family. Vagueness. Love. is love. Conflict is not abuse. My goose is not abstruse. Amtrak! Trains! Stream of consciousness! I have had three quarters of a gin and tonic. I did not drink yesterday. Some guys have a beer and they’ll do anything.

I just finished tearing through Jaron Lanier’s Dawn of the New Everything which was the most exciting book I’ve read in awhile. He’s fucking fascinating, and I really want to see a prestige miniseries about VPL created by the Wachowskis. I am scared to look up his thinking on crypto. But his centrist (he would not define it that way) position between techno utopian and techno skeptic is about where I place myself.

It is fascinating to think about virtual reality predating the internet and being a social-first experience. We are only now inching back to where things were decades ago. It’s a bit like when I read Alison Bechdel’s Essential Dykes to Watch Out For and saw all the queer theory / identity politics / internal queer politics arguments that were happening on tumble in the early 2010s had already happened decades before as well. We think we are brand new. We are not!

Just remembered I have an email I am avoiding. Hmm.

Why is my computer being so slow. That is distressing. I restarted and then it was time to go out for my birthday dinner. Then Matt and I went out for a few drinks and stayed out long enough to get into a weird fight. It’s fine! We’re fine. Everything is fine. Then when hungover in the morning going to finish this entry all of my websites went down for several hours. I really gotta find a different host. Everything takes too much work.

I have once again tested negative on an at home test. My throat remains scratchy.

Complain much, me???? Out of the writing flow so don’t know if I have anything else to add. Can’t believe my time off is almost at an end even if it felt like two weeks even though it was just one week. None of what I write is interesting. That is why I must keep writing it. Gonna figure out how to make an algorithm automatically churn these out for me soon.


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