and boy are my arms tired.
Wait, what? Ergh. It's kinda a representation of my entire college experience. By all accounts, today was a very good day. I saw people, did stuff, had class, got work done, and bla. I have every reason to be completely happy and content, but the problem is I'm not.
I was able to talk to her for 30 minutes before she had to go print off an assignment or something this time. Lately it's only been like 15 minutes or so, and that's when I call her. She always forgets to call and feels horrible. I can't help feeling jealous and unloved when the entire time I'm on the phone with her she's surrounded by her friends laughing and joking. I, however, was sitting in a dark study lounge underneath a chair. All my friends had long since gone to bed or returned to their anti social abodes. I wish I had a car to drive myself to Perkins.
I truly miss coffee and I miss long intimate talks with my friend Maren. She says she still thinks about me and loves me and bla bla, but ergh, I'm stupid. It's college and we've gone our seperate ways, but I'd think we'd stay in contact a little better than this. I write a six page letter and get a one line e-mail to say thanks. I'm just bitter that her friends are night owls.
There's so much to be happy about, but I just withdraw to the dark safe corners of emotional discontent. I think this relates to a lack of productivity/activity. Without my comic I'm fading away, and now that it's been like five months, it's going to be impossible to get back on track. Hrmpph. All of this has redoubled my internet addiction.
Perhaps I can blame PvP for all my antisocial tendencies and problems with living! Haha, not quite. I think I'll just look into on campus counseling for social anxiety disorder. It's less of a problem now than it was before, but it still remains a problem. If I called people, they would most likely do stuff, it's just the calling part that bothers me. The person I hang out with most is the one I can talk to online all the time. Well, having four classes with him doesn't hurt either. Hehe.
Hmm, I feel much less bitter about frienddoom now that I wrote about it. I'd say this entry was successful.