My emotions change too much to serve as a guide for others. If I am sad, it is no reason for you to be sad, or angry. Thank you.
I get headaches. And I get nosebleeds. These are brought on my stress, uncomfortable enviroments, and other factors. For example, when in a small, sweltering dorm room, I may try to find comfort in a small space. I am an actual agoraphobic at times. This is not necessarily a cry for attention. It's me trying to get comfortable. If it was a warning sign of shifting emotion, a simple “are you okay?” would suffice, rather than having objects thrown at me, or being growled at. When I sense another friend in distress, I ask them how they are doing, I do not get angry, growl, throw objects, or command them to do things.
Sometimes I feel the need to exit a hot, small room and walk home briskly and alone in the cool night air.
Sometimes I feel like I am flying.
Alone is the only solution to my want for companionship. No matter how many times I'm told I'm wanted, I still feel like the 3rd, 5th, and 7th wheel. And on some lucky nights, the 9th wheel. In simple terms, I feel like the nth wheel, or the spare tire. Desperately important in times of need, but discarded and shoved away when all tires are working properly.
Tonight I was having a lovely conversation with Steph, then Alex showed up. Naturally Steph and Alex fell into each other, and Seth and Maren remained as they were, leaving me, the spare tire of a 5th wheel, alone.
But don't mind me, I'm just a stupid jealous wreck.
I hate being a teenager sometimes. It's all so cliche and trite. I yearn for an original emotion. I think I'll make one up later.
And most of all, sorry.