(first off, renee, your entry ratio was way too high compareds to people I actually talk to… so, sorry that I had to remove you.)
Oh, yeah, ignore my last journal entry! It was lame.
Week #1 of my senior year is complete. I'm happy with my decision to drop AP Calculus. Math isn't my bag. Oh well, I know it was a bad choice, I'll regret it in College, I'm going to hell, whatever. I tried hard years 1-3 of school, it's time to give up. Ha. I like the whole giving up thing. While reading through some college stuff, I decided it was too hard so maybe I should go the Steph route and not go! erm.. no, I am going to college. My current life goal is to avoid SDSU at all costs. It should be easy enough.
Hmm, last night was goobad. Earlier in the day I was thinking, “Gee, the only time I've had a rather long MSN conversation that was meaningful and pulled me out of a depressive state was with Laura Nesson! I sure wish she would visit!” That night, surrounded by people, as I have been since School started *cough* I received a phone call. Phone calls always leave me confused. It was Laura, and she was at a soccer game about a block from me. After I got tired of waiting for people to leave, I left. It was a lovely walk to a sporting event. I've never been to one before. The last few minutes I saw were interesting…
Hmm, Jack from camp was there, he kinda stared at me and I wanted to avoid eye contact, because I'm easily embarassed like that. Then he kinda waved. That just took me by surprise (i must say…) so I spasmed or something. Oh, moving back a few minutes, the first person I saw playing on the soccer field was John Marek. That confused me too.
After scouting out the bleachers for awhile, I saw Laura and joined her. I informed her of my evil plan to do Spacetime Flexpass for Readers Theatre, she attempted to inform Elliot, but sadly it was to no avail. I really didn't see much of that game at all, actually. We waited around a little afterward for James, but he had to do something or.. something, so we left.
Getting back to my problem with strangers and use of the word “we,” Laura was joined by Mark Merrit and Adam Selmer or something.. people I didn't know. So naturally I was very silent and avoided eye contact. I hate that. The Mark person was along when we were at Pizza Hut, and apparently I've heard about the Adam person a lot. They both seemed like interesting people, but I can't just get to know them. That's sad, because last night I realized friends are like a good book. You're really excited while reading, but after it's done, you wish there was more. I know a lot about my friends. Our events seem routine. I want dancing, singing, excitement!! I'm babbling!
In summation, Laura Nesson=cool, Me=shy, Emotional Situation=smothered.
I'm a person that thrives on a balance of alone/people. I've not been alone for awhile.
And as the subject says, I love you all, I just need to be alone sometimes.