i want to be able to say last night i made love instead of just last night i made cookies. actually, being able to say, “last night i made love AND cookies,” would probably be best.

a random thought

i walk the streets of brookings alone at night looking for something i know i will not find here. i've been impatient all my life; what's the use in stopping now?

forty-one days… that is when the world will begin.

earlier this summer i came across a cpa creation i barely recall making. i remember being proud of the hair, but for the life of me i don't know who it is. it might be seth. if not, i've decided it's my imaginary boyfriend ricky. he's a hotty.

who is it that had a mccrory gardens t-shirt?

so i'm sitting here in my rock and roll sleeveless t-shirt… (emma: “are you kerra?” *snicker*) i should probably change shirts. it's a bit odd. goodwill is the bearer of slutty girl shirts and leather pants. my sister (my sister!) is currently in the shower, emma and steph are in her bed together, and alex is reading entertainment weekly on my bed. it's 3:45pm. summer is messed up.

brandi was here two weeks ago, but decided it was time to make another visit. she's decided it's really fun to show up without calling so she surprises us and make it so my mom has no days off for us to do stuff. alas! night is when we do everything anyway.

sunday evening i went to another show at my old church in brookings. it was just as odd and just as bad, mostly. before the only band i liked had people i knew in it. same thing this time. though, i think the undergrads were just plain good entertainment regardless of me going to school with the members. the drummer's pretty hair, the trombonist's hot david reeselike moves, and nate lampsen's rockin' frontman powers didn't hurt. oh yeah, matt turner and tom harwood are rockstar sexgods as well. makeshift empire and that other random band… there's only so many AFI stickers and shirts i can handle before people start dying. yesterday also included bowling (i still suck) and perkins (i still love it). perkins included all the undergrads, jack mcfarland, my best friend 5-6th grade, and watertonians. not to mention red jackie (wear a dress) and kelsey and the reason i'm a vegetarian. people everywhere! this town is psychotic.

hmm. then i went to bed and everyone else had excitment? i'm not quite sure. at some point in the night i got everyone's autograph so now i am going to make lots of money on ebay because i can.

i have no ability as a writer any longer, but if you need someone to sweep your parking lot–i'm your man.

i've felt rather cynical lately. i don't really believe much of what anyone says. it's not like anyone has motivation to lie, but i've got my doubts. bang bang

and in small packages! confusion is free and requires no package. i've never really figured out why i enjoy attempting to confuse people, it's just a quirk of mine.

“xxdeathkillyouxx is playing naked tonight”
“where's naked?”

band names changed to protect the potentially nude

random thoughts:
+cut off his eyelashes, it's the source of all his power
+i don't want to wake up on my own anymore
+mandy is beautiful, mandi shall carry around a martini at USD
+tonya and a stranger named kai
++most importantly, the return of emma

phonecalls must be made and plans must be figured out. it's 1:16pm and the day should have started long ago

p.s. +elliot smith will always remind me of walking through the parks of duluth, chester creek in winter especially. this is a terribly good thing

my mission to you, do something you love. do it repeatedly. do it while listening to music you love. then, when you're away from that thing, you can always listen to the music and think of it. i've got a secret, and it's that the whole wide world is beautiful (this optimism will die later, i assure you)