it's raining. i've been listening to elliot smith's new album all day. the boy i still have a crush on, fooled around with a 52 year old man last night. first he didn't want to date. then it was me, it ruin a good friendship. he asked out a older friend. when we was in a relationship, i was happy. at least it meant something.

why do boys i'm not dating make me feel so ugly and jealous inside?

i want to curl into a ball on my bed for the next several days. at the very least, cry a little. i should have asked for a receipt.

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