I think I've allowed a bit too much religion into my life lately.
Last night I had a dream that I was the sun of god, or at least people said I was, or something. It's probably because I read an essay mentioned in Waking Life where the person theorizes that this is 50 AD and that Satan is creating alternate realities to make us loose faith in the imminent return of Christ and that life is more or less stories from the bible overlaid with this illusion called the present.
I think Emma might have been doubting Thomas, or something. At some point I went away… to my garage… to ask God what he wanted of me and why I had to die and then Emma came and I explained to her that I was really unsure of whether or not I was Christ because I didn't even believe in God and in trying to speak to him, I couldn't make contact. There was just emptiness.
I don't know if it was the same dream or another one, but at some point a group of people and us were standing at a shipping dock and this ship was coming in to ship stuff off to Kansas and lots of killer bees and hornets flew off the ship and started attacking us.
Considering life as of late, the bees might as well be real and we be fake. Happiness can't be forced upon others, it must be found internally and a lot of people don't know how to do that.
It really is not supposed to be like this. Human emotion is getting in the way of common sense. Everyone needs to calm down and back away. There are no walls and there are no sides. There are just different people (at AT Fields that keep us as individual beings… erm… LOOK OUT! GIANT SPACE REI! nevermind.).
Honestly, isn't this all just fucking ridiculous? We need to look at ourselves. I'm putting myself in the middle of things where I don't belong, someone is not able to let go even though that was the original point, someone has some unresolved issues and is projecting them elsewhere, someone has always had issues and needs to come to terms with themselves, and everyone needs to realize how dumb this is.
We're all going to be scattered in less than four weeks. There's no put in infecting the severed parts.
And with that, I more or less wash my hands of this. I'm sorry if I sound like an ass, but I'm going to take my own advice and ignore it. I won't ignore people, but if they start talking about it and continue to FREAK OUT, I will walk away.
And that's my opinion, whether or not it's right, it's mine.