or perhaps a decent sleep schedule (though I did learn yesterday that ms. kroll also follows the 4am bed 11am wake schedule, that amuses me to no end).

i was feeling kind of dead earlier, but now not so much. it's not that hot out so i'm going to take a long bikeride, something i've neglected to do for a week or two or something. anyway, it's necessary.

emma called this morning. that was really nice of her and i feel bad for not being conscious. i recommend everyone hug an emma on a daily basis. squeeze the life out of 'er!

last night with alex johnson (who i secretly love and adore) was really good. he was kind of the first person to seem to share my feeling of how incredibly different and weird college will be, but at the same time realizing that's not a negative thing. we're finally escaping and moving on to what surely won't be the “real world” as that no longer exists, but rather, we're moving to something. it's not even the future, it's just the start of something beautiful. human interaction is such an important part of life and i'm desparately looking forwards to meeting new people and making more friends. yeah, yeah, i'm shy or something, but it'll happen.

it's not that anyone will be replaced, it's just that i'm going to experience new things. that's why i love travel, it's not the same thing (then again, familiarity is nice and i will desperately miss faces and places…).

I see only hope and endless opportunity stretching out before me. The worst years of my life are behind me. Never again will I be harassed in fifth grade. Never again will I cry daily in sixth grade. Never will I wear a flag shirt for a school picture! Never will I have long hair and look like… that. Never will I spiral downward into a period of self-hate and shit friends. Never will I make a total ass out of myself. Never will I do things with people with regret. Never will I… well, okay, senior year wasn't that bad, but never will I attend gym. Ha. The truth in happiness in me is rejecting the sad parts of the past and carrying the good with me. The happy memories are meant to boost the present and make the future look bright. The bad is something to leave behind.

I think it's time we blow this thing, get everyone and their stuff together, 3… 2… 1… let's jam!

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