In the time it took to decide to write this down, I lost a part. In the time it takes to explain that, I've lost more.
I've been thinking a lot lately about how we perceive everything. The time it takes to drive somewhere is considerably less than the time it takes to walk, duh, but the time it takes to walk somewhere with a friend can seem like less than the time it takes to drive the same distance alone at a certain time of day. The way we feel time pass varies depending on our present company, the music we're listening to, how fast, loud, slow, good, or bad that music is, and our current mood. A song we like one day can make things fly by, and we can hate that same song the next day and things are slowed to a crawl.
But it's funny, even when time is filled and meaningful, it seems to last longer but go by quicker. And it's not just time that gets screwed up in perception, it's everything. I look different in my brain than I look in the mirror. I look different in the mirror than in someone else's brain. I look different in the light, in the dark, and in different colors and angles. And how is this determined? Is it genetic? Is it heredity? Is it taught? Some people are color blind and see colors different. Some people become crazy and gain a twist world view. Perception seems to be based subconsciously on various factors.
Wouldn't it seem to make sense, that with proper training, we could change the way we perceive the world? This isn't some preconceived notion of philosophy or a different world view or even finding yourself, it's an actual changing of the way you could perceive things. I think with all that we can make our brain do, that we could very well do a sort of meditational time travel. Speed up the lulls, slow down the good times, see the inherent good in bad, and see how everything has a dark side.
This sort of thing really interests me. I should try and do some research into it. See just what meditation has been used for. Maybe some Asian culture has jumped the gun on me already.
I want to learn to think. I don't want to be content sitting here day after day in front of a computer just letting the time pass by. I want to control the time. I want to learn to further question the nature of things and change the way that I think.
And also, I want to converse. People never really converse anymore, they just talk. Talk talk talk, nothing ever being said! Heh. A conversation goes somewhere besides the dull “how are you” that plagues the wolrd today. A conversation is an exchange, commentary, debate of ideas. I long for more conversation and less talk.
One other thing, I hope to learn more self-control. I'm quite convinced that I'm a “late-bloomer” and stupid puberty is still catching up with me. Fun fact: I lost my last baby tooth less than a year ago. His name was Timmy, and I swallowed him the morning before a debate tournament. Also, stuff I hear other guys talk about happening to them a few years ago seems to (still) be happening now. I'm surrounded by my confusion.
Just thought you should know. Something to think about.