i'm a born again virgin. today i am wearing the v-belt. steph and i went on a date at guadalajaras but no one stood outside pawing at the windows, and i don't think anyone will get offended.

later we went to the lodge and we were naturally charged as one. steph paid. we're so non-traditional. it's funny because i'm gay and she's… steph. we also look related, making the assumption creepier.

the v-belt was tied to my bedpost all throughout my first year of college. when moving out my mom asked “what's this?” and i said oh and quickly untied it. i'm very discreet, you see. i've got things to do and an inability to do them.

i'm thinking about breaking it off with matthew. i might be happier with an imaginary boyfriend ricky, like david sedaris' sister. we could get into comical situations and i could always yell “RIIIIIIIIIIIICKY!” and then cry or eat chocolate. ricky is the kinda guy i can think about while making spaghetti. ricky makes my jaw ache with desire. his hair is dark and out passion will be intense.

i. need. to. create.

damn bitch, that's shitfuck

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