I should really do this more often. Techno is amusing, too bad it’s not what I want for the drag show. Hmm… maybe Xiu Xiu would work, too bad it had the lyricdoom to it. My roommate just walked in… to turn off the techno or not. Ratta-Tooi! Ratta Tooi! ratta ratta ratta tooi tooi!

I’ve been remembering my dreams more frequently as of late. Most of them are pretty linear. I wish they were more escapist, but instead I just wake up with a feeling of missed experience. I think the extent of fantasy in dreams for me is that strangers talk to me, and I don’t have a problem with it.

This CD has a song titled “Waltz of The Lost Ravers.” Raineeeeeeeeer, we need to do something avant garde involving blood, bad techno, and/or pie.

Visual Literacy makes me think about a lot of things. He said avant garde last night, which always makes me smile. Then I started thinking how if the professor said something like “…and whales are colorblind!” there’d be no one to share it with. Then I started thinking about ActiveWorlds and my budding career as a 3D modeller four years ago. I think Jon is about the only one who would understand that. Oh, then I started thinking about how if Brandi never met her friend Eliza, then Jon might not have gotten my phone number and then we wouldn’t have become friends. I would have never gone to Brost’s and met all the scary gamer kids. It was still a dark few years, but without that semblence of a social network, I would’ve spiralled downwards even further.

I suppose I don’t really know what would have happened, but it’s interesting to think. I was also wondering if Maren and I could travel back in time to our sixth grade selves, would we? We could become friends several years earlier and attempt to help each other out and fix all the mistakes of middle school and early high school. Then again, middle school was some of the worst years of my life, and I doubt I’d want to try and relive it, even if I could change things.

I was also thinking about all the things I do and don’t remember. I remember a hallucinogenic experience when I was two (drug reaction). Two. I couldn’t talk until I was five, but I clearly remember waking up in the middle of the night and walked around the house. I scolded Brandi for wearing dads slippers, but I was actually talking to the slippers, which were placed under the table. I watched Donna Reed on television, even though it was shut off. Later I climbed into my mom and dad’s bed and watched a transluscent pastel train break through the mirror and circle around the ceiling of the room. Crazy pinks and greens and the liquid shattering of the mirror. I must try that again sometime, heh.

I also remember laying on the floor of the bathroom and getting my diaper changed. I remember getting my head stuck in my crib and crying out in the middle of the night. Oh, as a side note, my crib was at an angle, so I wouldn’t vomit and suffocate at night. Eek. Visualizing these early memories from before our house was remodeled is like walking through a dream.

Last night I needed to get out of my room, so I went for a walk. My original goal was to go down every hallway on every floor of campus (that was available to me, at least). While I was walking through Life Sciences, one of the older buildings, there was a guy just sitting behind something on the floor in a hallway. A few minutes later I was nearing a staircase when I spotted a giant moosehead and a bison. It was really nightmarish, and I do not know why. I quickly turned around, making a note to never use that staircase. A bit later I was in the basement of one building and walked up a side hallway that ended with three or four doors. I then remembered last fall someone mentioned there used to be a morgue in the basement of a building. I saw one door was cracked open, so… I turned around and ran. ha

Much later I ran into Heather, a girl who’s going to England next year. A girl in the honors program. A girl I’ve watched movies with. A girl who during Get Real said “no, don’t lead her on! Just tell her!” I told her I was going to be in the Drag Show (she saw me selling tickets). I hope she knows, but it was really nice walking with her and just talking. Heh, I started the walk with thoughts of finding some similar minded boy, but alas and alack!

Hmm… maybe the Ravenous soundtrack has some good music for performance artdoom. Muahaha. And to think, I’ve never worn a corset before…

If anyone reading this has the urge to splurge, I recommend coming to Duluth this weekend. Or Saturday. or something. Drag Show, 7pm! Performance art! Throw dollar bills at me! You may sleepeth in my room and assist in the… disposing of one abominable snowman.

I’m outtie 5000.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *