I didn’t type a deadjournal last night because I was tired and emo which is a combination that’s responsible for far too many entries. Now I’m really hyped up and shakey from attending a tea party, which is probably not the best thing either. Wheeeee…
I still feel a twinge of jealousy when I see him with other friends. I have abandonment issues and I’m bitter. hehewheee. It doesn’t matter because I have lots of other friends now, but I don’t understand what happened. Ahh well, maybe someday I shall know the truth!
I like pretending girls are interested in me, though I don’t want to lead them on or anything. I think I’m flattering myself to say that though. Ergh. Oh well, Jet loves me and I love her, so that’s… something. Something very very special. I love our Thursday date days, though even she keeps something a secret which bothers me a little. I tend to hold very little back with my friends, so I expect them to share absolutely everything.
I could never be with someone who thought it important to keep parts of their life private. Openness is very important. Though, there is a certain line… heh. I’ve talked with queermike on the phone every day for the past week for about an hour on average. He talks and talks and talks about his day and I know all his jokes, his entire life story, and everything now. It’s kinda crazy.
His tea party was pretty cool even though I feel really odd right now. I bet he drugged me. Blech.
I’ve decided (again) that I’m undateable/unlovable. I’ve got many friends and we’re all really close and stuff, but no relationships. In fact, I’ve given up relationships for Lent! Yes that’s it. Genius! As a side note, I’ve been a vegitarian for four years now. Anyway, yep, I’ll never date someone because I’m just one of those people that’s meant to be forever single. It tis simply the card I drew. I’m sure there will be more little side thingies (whee…) but nothing solid or serious. A rational person could just say that the dating pool in Duluth is poor, but nope, I’m not rational, I’m just unlovable/dateable!
Becuase of this I must gnaw off your kneecap. Wow, coming down from caffeine buzz is no fun… my head is starting to hurt. I wish I had liquid, so I could take drugs. Oh well.
I’ll just continue sitting in these dark rooms talking on the telephone and avoiding sasquatch the jazz musician.
I’m waaaaastedd!!klsadjjksad afkjdkfjk j<-caffeine
I need to eat, but John has not called me. I’ve never spent much time with just him. Perhaps I should avoid those of the Jon/John persuasion. Eek. Tonight I’m watching gay movies. Yay, very exciting.
She was free!