Wow. I'm listening to a string tribute to Tool by Third Eye Open (Schism) I just downloaded accidently.. Wowowowow. It's kind of like Apocalyptica.. only no psychotic cellos.. and it's not Metallica… Erm. I'm not good with music. And I hate that. I hope people are open to the fact that I don't know much about music and I don't even know why I like some of it.
This Tool string thing is bringing tears to my eyes. Either that or squinting at the monitor too long. That's been happening a lot lately. Is it allergies or a sign of a deeper problem?
First off (i've been in debate too long, and i've not been in English long enough…) let's talk about the accident. Others may address it, but I feel I should relate the details for myself. Tristan J Walker. TJ Walker. Died around 6:21pm on October 8th in the Brookings High School south parking lot, less than a block from where I live. I don't even remember hearing the sirens. What happened was Michael Bates was driving with John Kirk in the passenger seat and TJ on the hood of the car. They were going about 30mph and stories are conflicting, but what I hear is that they took a turn too sharp and TJ flew off the hood. The people in the car, the football players who just finished practice, and the skaters at the skatepark froze. Some say that could've saved TJ if they'd moved faster. I don't know if I'd be able to operate in an accident like that. I know the driver and the passenger of the vehicle as “the glitter kids.” They have bleached blonde hair, wear heelies (shoes with wheels in the heel), and have shiny clothes. They work at Pizza Ranch with Alex. They talked to Steph, Maren and I on a late night walk just a few weeks ago. They're cool kids in general. They just did something really stupid, something a lot of kids have done. From what I know, John Kirk has had problems with depression before and has just recently started taking “happy pills”. This is not a good event in relation to that.
So those are the extended details. This is the third kid dead I can remember in the last three years. Last year it was John Ellsbury, a friend of a friend, and the year before was Michael O'Brien, Alex Johnson's best friend. Recently Alex J has said I'm his best friend. I've been indirectly related to too many kid deaths. I know teenagers aren't “invincible” like the media says we think we are, but still, fuck, kids shouldn't die like that. I've also lost two grandparents (mother's side) to cancer, an aunt (mom's side) to anorexia nervose, an two uncles (dad's side) to vehicular accidents. I never know just how to feel. I feel bad that I don't know the people better and that there's nothing I can do to help. I also feel bad that the little things in life go on and seem to matter more than the death. There was a moment of silence to Mike. There was a press release for TJ. It doesn't make sense. I fear death.
There's other things I want to write about, but not in this entry. Oh, and now for a little name dropping in no particular order. MarenStephAlexTessaLauraEmmaKolbAlexClintTuckerAdamKelseySethJeremyKolbElliotProkopKrollBrandiMomAshtonAeronReneeMoroccoSarahStephBenJonMattMikeSonyaKim and to whoever else I'm forgetting. You're not allowed to die. Ever. Got that?